My dear reader,
I understand your confusion. Few have learned the meaning of that dreadful acronym. It is not for the faint of heart, and many who have braved it’s depths have fallen. Just go ask your writer friend and watch them tremble in fear.
Listen carefully and read well, you may not hear tell of this again. National Novel Writing Month is a challenge of utmost gravity. If you dare to brave this realm you may earn your writerly knighthood, or forever be doomed to the life of a squire eternally writing fanfiction and romance for a well known site where people will read your precious words for free.
This is the quest now given to you. It is imperative that you write fifty thousand words in a single month. The hourglass (dayglass?) of doom begins upon Midnight, November first. It is not the bravest, or the strongest who will succeed. It is not even he who has the most coffee…. (though that will certainly be of aid to those who cannot survive by tea alone….it is recommended that only the most conditioned spartan writer attempts this quest caffeine free.) pure determination will be what separates the victor from the vanquished. Few survive this chasm of charts, painful motivation, goals, conversations with madmen, and precious tea consumed in unhealthy proportions.
As one who has twice earned my rank I am here to warn the innocent younglings who would attempt this feat. You will find yourself obsessing over word count. Unless your friends follow in your footsteps they may absent mindedly be abandoned. Your characters will betray you. Storylines will warp into tales of woe you thought impossible for such an accomplished writer as yourself to create. Perfection, that holy grail of writing, shall be revealed in its true form. Abandon such hollow and fruitless pursuits! You will fail if that is all you seek.
I can guarantee that you will lose your sanity, but out of this dreadful chaos a novel shall be born! Maybe your blog posts will get messier as you type them up in a hurry to get back to your novel (of course, I would never make such a rookie mistake. My blog is perfect. 🙂 ) your hair will no longer be perfectly combed. Meals may be missed in order to type out that last page. Sleep will grow into a fabled legend. But as one who has survived and conquered I must remind you of one thing. Your novel is just around the corner. I suggest you start planning out that outline.
P.S. Expect more tales of writerly woe in the future, I shall speak of little else until my quest is complete.